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Submitted on
December 23, 2013
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I wish I knew your name.

The taste of it
Upon my lips.
The sound of it
On my breath.
The feel of it
In my skin.

I wish I knew your name.

Could hold onto it
Savor its warmth.
Could shout it up
Into the skies.
Could sleep with it
Safe in my arms.

I wish I knew your name.
This came to me earlier tonight and wouldn't get out of my head until I wrote it down. Tried out a new style with the poem and I kinda like it. :) Enjoy and, as always, comments are :heart:
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner May 28, 2014
You can call me "Stranger" or "X',
after all it's just a name.

...No it's not...
Reply
:iconremanth:
remanth Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconbriddybear:
briddybear Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist

Wonderful. I love how it is simple not forced. My one suggestion would be commas. I think it would flow better if there was a break.

For Example:

 

The taste of it,

Upon my lips.

The sound of it,

On my breath.

The feel of it,

In my skin.

 

It is just a suggestion and nothing more! It is a very goodp iece of work. You are on your way up the poetry ladder! <?xml:namespace prefix = da />:happybounce: 

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:iconremanth:
remanth Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this. And I will take your advice into consideration. :)
Reply
:iconforru:
Forru Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like this! It seems deftly innocent, and it makes me think of a movie for star crossed lovers or something along those lines. I can just imagine a girl wanting to see a guy again because she forgot to ask his name, and this poem is what she's thinking because she can't fall asleep. I also like how it is formatted. The short lines help give it that simple and pure feeling~ ^_^
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:iconremanth:
remanth Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. It makes me happy it makes you think of a movie. :) I like that idea. I'm glad you enjoyed this poem.
Reply
:iconmisery-business93:
misery-business93 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
I really like this. It' so simple yet beautiful. It flows perfectly and I love the style of it :)
Reply
:iconremanth:
remanth Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much :)
Reply
:icondejers:
Dejers Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very nice. I know the feeling of poems/stories trying to get out. :)
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:iconremanth:
remanth Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
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